The Disclaimer

The following is my journal from a trip to Mexico City in December 2011. It's mostly based in reality, but I may adjust the timeline or content here and there for entertainment and protection of the innocent. Y'all enjoyed the Italy stuff so much, and I loved having a day-by-day account so much that I figured I'd do it again. It's easy to write with such great material.

Mexico City - Day 1: Everything is everything

Got picked up in, yes, that pretty epic airport reunion. Back to Casa de Carlos squared in the "limo" driven by the driver who also lives at this hotel owned by his dad. Carlos senior is jolly, intelligent, and warm-hearted. I think he's more than a little bewildered by me, but treats me like family anyway. The hotel is more of a guest house, with only 8 or 10 rooms, typically only rented to airline staff. It's clean, very secure, and I get the idea that it's in a near constant state of construction. Carlos and I are a little nervous of each other at first, but we quickly fall back into old banter, and stay up late sharing stories and catching up on the last 6 months. It's wonderful to be with an old friend. I awake in the morning to 4 car alarms, honking, 2 dogs, and a woman yelling "Basuraaaaaaaa!". She gathers the trash, I'm told. There's also a man selling propane, announcing its availability with a hearty "Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas!" every few minutes. I can only smile, and delight in the little things that make international travel so rich and interesting. All tropical countries smell the same. Breakfast is of a cup full of fruit- papaya, guava, pineapple, banana, honey, and awesome from a small fruit stand where I'm introduced as the girlfriend. Girlfriend I am, then, for a week. It's the best way we can describe this - needing to distill some word out of our complex relationship so that others know how to relate to me... I suppose the reason that the usual labels don't work for me is that I don't follow the script. More than friends, more than just lovers, but not exclusive by any stretch- no commitment, no jealousy, no expectations, just loving as we will. This is perfect. We rode the wonderfully colorful Mexico City subway (the Metro) to the Zocalo. This is the huge square where Christmas happens in Mexico City. It's a caricature of winter, with people making snowmen from manufactured snow, soap-bubble flakes being blown into the air, ice-skating in a slushy rink, and paint-frosted roofs on carnival shacks hawking cup-o-soup, donuts, and questionably edible orange puff treats, all surrounding a huge AstroTurf Christmas tree. The buildings around the square are draped 8 stories tall with parade ornaments and lights. I hope we get to come back at night for the lights. It is a slightly muggy 75 degrees outside. I am wishing I had worn a skirt. We buy fries at the McDonalds to use the bathroom. I have a rule - I never eat at McDonalds in the US, but they have reliably clean bathrooms in other countries. I'll happily eat grease bomb fries for a toilet with a reliable supply of soap and paper. The cathedral across the street from the Zocalo is like many I've seen: made of marble, ornately carved and spectacularly decorated with statue after statue of saint-this and king-that. I remark that I wish I had been raised in the church sometimes, just so that I would have some of that knowledge. Carlos replies that he was, and he still doesn't. On the way out, I'm struck by the enthusiastic spikes on the fence surrounding the cathedral. I suppose it should have frightened me a little- such concern with security at a place of worship- but I was simply amused. Mexicans are a passionate people- living with gusto (literally?). Fences are not simply fences, they are FENCES! Carlos and I laugh about parties being PARTIES!, food is FOOD! and love is LOVE! in Mexico. "We don't do anything half-assed," he says. Me gusto. We meet up with Carlos' colorful friend Eric, who spent some time in prison, and is now teaching English and riding the thin line between macho Latin dude and funny people lover guy. They joke about everything, "use horchata in a sentence" making fun of their students, but they clearly love and devote a lot of time and energy to them. Here, as I'm writing, I hear the gas man shouting "Gaaaaaaaas!" We pick our way through the first few blocks of the market that's around the corner from the Zocalo. All the things are for sale here. The Christmas light store was my favorite. Bullhorns make salespeople more effective, in Mexico. Markets are MARKETS! Everything is designed to be packed up instantly for whenever the police decide they're tired of one or another little stall, or someone neglects to pay the required bribe. It's widely accepted that while the police enforce the laws, they are also highly corrupt and usually involved in breaking them. We eat street meat: fatty, greasy, spicy, amazing. We find a bar, and after one beer worth of ogling the hot blonde girl in tight pants, Eric introduces himself and it's all downhill from there. The thought occurs to me that it's 3pm on a wednesday. I haven't been in Mexico 24 hours, and I'm already drunk and chair-dancing with two pretty Mexican girls and their 4 gay friends. One of the girls takes more than a passing interest in me- she knows enough English to tell me I am "very beautiful" several times. I do my best to skirt the issue, and we eventually exit gracefully, but not without exchanging phone numbers and making friends with about 10 other people in the small bar. (yeah, yeah- run-on sentence and all that.... I write a lot of those. I missed the finer points of grammar, hoping I could make up for it in spelling and content. Don't judge me.) We decide we are, so far, winning Mexico. Evening was spent giggling for 5 hours with Carlos' family. His dad, stepmom, bouncy aunt and cute teenaged cousin treated me like family instantly. We cranked up the volume and flipped through someone's iPod, singing along and making up dances. After consuming a respectable amount of beer, we made our way to his grandparents' house- a nice place in the suburbs. Everyone curses heavily in Spanish. I understand enough to get most of the humor. Carlos tells everyone that I am trying to learn more of the language, that I understand a lot and to not bother with English. I think he thinks I understand more than I do but laughter doesn't need translation. And, I think it puts everyone at ease if they don't have to stop and wait for me to catch up on the meaning. Really, I would have had a wonderful time if I hadn't gotten even a word. I was able to get in on the jokes now and then, and everyone laughed even more. The humor here is pretty crude, by our standards: I would never make poo and sex jokes in front of my grandmother, but the graceful matriarch of this family pulled no punches. By the end of the night, we had inside jokes galore, a good beer buzz, and sore cheeks from laughing. This family reminds me of mine, only louder. I was so tired from jet lag and the altitude that I slept on Carlos' lap all the way home. I forget how exhausting it is to work in two languages, listening intently to every word that's said to catch one out of every five or ten that I understand. Responding is easier; I am able to get my point across pretty well with my relatively limited vocabulary. In Mexico, family is FAMILY!

Mexico City - Day 2: Los Pyramides

We awoke again to a chorus of car alarms and people shouting, namely the "Basuraaaaaaaa!" lady, and dressed quickly to make our way with Carlos Sr., "Tosh"' as Carlos calls him, and his sweet and hysterically funny girlfriend of 11 years- Vivi. She's thin and beautiful, with curly hair and a bright smile. I still do not understand why they call her "La Negra"' even after Carlos explaining that "she's the closest thing we get to black people here." Is it the hair? Driving in other countries is always an adventure, as the traffic rules here are more guidelines than rules, and you have to be very aware of the precise dimensions of your vehicle because that spatial awareness will be necessary for you to make any sort of turn or lane change. (again with the run-on sentences...) There will rarely be more than a few inches to spare. We drove north, through what they called the slums: hillsides packed with concrete box houses piled haphazardly atop one another as far as the eye can see. I did a school project with my dad once on the Hopi Indian houses where I built some clay squares on the side of a foam hill. These reminded me of that project, only in cartoonish color: if you have enough money, you can paint your house a garish pink or turquoise. Juxtaposed in even greater contrast than it might have been elsewhere against the grey of everything else, they were somewhere between cheerful and clownish. We drove finally out into the countryside, past giant agave plants and cactus to the ancient Aztec city of Teotihuacan. Had a lunch of wonderful soup and fajitas. Both Carlos' (Carloses? Carlos squared? The Carlos?) and Vivi patiently explained things on the menu to me. I realize that I rely too heavily on Carlos as a screen through which I'm experiencing things here. I do know enough Spanish to order my food, but I'm nervous about saying something wrong, so I defer to him. He is patient and encouraging, but I think he's a little annoyed, so I make a better effort today. I ask more and devote more of my energy to learning new words, too. Everyone chatters away in Spanish. I get a little more than a third of whats being said, but getting the gist is fine. We all drink some excellent tequila in honor of the waiter's birthday. The Carlos and Vivi make fun of everyone and everything. We laugh constantly. I have decided that my favorite vacations are the ones where I don't see any white people. I have loved jeweled beaches and ancient marble, but I get the most out of the little things like street food, local markets and the back streets that lead away from the tourist attractions. Getting to spend my time in another country with the people who live there, doing the things they do every day is a rare experience that's an oft-trumpeted ideal among traveling Americans. Some enjoy the cruise-ship style vacation, with umbrellas and invisible waitstaff. My generation, however, is looking for an adventure off the beaten path. It's important for us in our wanderlust to stay wary of becoming patronizing. I'm reminded of the hill tribe villages in northern Thailand: billed as an 'authentic' experience, it's nothing more than perpetuating the tragic dependence of a caricature of what once was a colorful and rich culture upon well-intentioned but poorly aimed "adventure" tourists. I don't want to be *that* tourist, but I don't want to be that hipster post-tourist poseur either. But more than any of this, I'm here to share these experiences with a friend. I'm here to explore a rare and priceless connection with another human being that could be happening anywhere in the world. The fact that it's happening here and there are other things to look at along the way is just icing on the cake. We cross the street to a huge old pyramid of stone. I'm told it's 2000 years old, and was a place of worship for the citizens of the city. There's a wall around it, and just inside the wall are a few men hawking jewelry and carved flutes. We smile and wave them politely away - I love how polite the hawkers are here- they approach, but aren't pushy. The trappings of this tourist trap are unostentatious. Surprisingly, the locals definitely outweigh the foreigners. 200 or so of stone steps that have been restored to their original terrifying steepness bring the 4 of us to the top, where Carlos and I sit on a ledge and paint each other pictures of what the people of Teotihuacan must have seen from there, so long ago. Per usual, we describe a gruesome scene, discussing the strange beauty of the pyramids covered in the blood of thousands of prisoners of war. We wax unironically poetic, quietly wallowing together in the drama and tragedy of our relationship and we promise, there atop the pyramid of the sun, to always love each other. And that in 10 years, if we haven't found someone better suited to our individual quirks that we'll find our way back to each other. Asking "who else?" we share a poignant kiss. Who else, indeed? Carlos, with a flair for the dramatic, brings an intensity and a creativity out in me that I feel like I had forgotten. He understands a big part of me- the performing part- in a way that others don't. We are both born performers: we live and die by the attention of an audience, and the satisfaction we can only get on a stage is the yardstick by which any other satisfaction in our lives is measured. Somehow, discussing life, love, and the pursuit of happiness, and declaring our undying love for each other doesn't seem at all ridiculous there atop the Pyramid of the Sun. Somehow it's quintessentially *us*. We descend, and walk off toward a smaller pyramid to the right- the Pyramid of the Moon, taking time to play with cartwheels and handstands on top of the crumbling walls. Carlos gets bitten by an ant. His dad takes pictures. We are uncharacteristically quiet. We return to the city in heinous traffic. Traffic in Mexico is like traffic in Seattle, only if it were in Seattle, it would stretch from Everett to Tacoma without relief. Stopping on an errand, I'm left alone with Vivi for a few minutes, and we make small talk in both languages. I learn the story of the birth of her 12 year old- when people learn I'm a labor & delivery nurse, they frequently share their birth stories- I love this. We get dressed up back at home, and take the metro and a taxi with Eric to a part of town called La Contessa, where there are hip and metropolitan-looking bars everywhere. We get a table upstairs in a sleek place that has blue lighting. My backless top draws a lot of attention. We get a table next to a door that opens into a giant walk-in freezer. The walls and bar and furniture are made of ice inside. An ice bar in Mexico City! We instantly adopt a lovely couple that are a little quiet and look nervous about our boisterousness. They talk to me in polite, broken English and I try to talk back in Spanish as much as I can. I'm doing better today in Spanish, having learned several new words this morning. Bottle service is required, so the 5 of us put a bottle of Stolichnaya to good use, and are soon the only people in the bar dancing, definitely having a better time than anyone else. Leslie and Manuel are still a little unsure of us, but are starting to cut loose a little. We of course learn the cheer that I have been teaching everyone I meet in bars for the last 4 months. I am always surprised when everyone enthusiastically takes part. Carlos and I laugh and take to the dance floor at one point, and as we are wont to do, improvise some flashy choreography that draws the attention of this half of the bar, and the applause of our table mates. Life is good. After shots and dancing in the ice bar, Eric's ex girlfriend Mary joins us, and we proceed with an epically fun night: drunkenly singing along with the Black Eyed Peas and Pitbull. Leslie and Manuel finally cut loose- laughing, taking pictures, and singing. There is no language needed, just noisy bar pantomime and lots of liquor. We kissed the bear carved from ice and laughed our way out. As far as we were concerned, no-one in the place had ever in their lives had as much fun as we had that night. I have had some good times in New York, Washington D.C., San Francisco, and Jamaica, but this may have topped them all. We walk for what seems like miles to get back to Eric's house- now using more English than Spanish, which is a nice rest for me. I felt bad for Mary, being the only one who didn't speak English. We drink and smoke, Eric and Mary make spectacular quesadillas, and we curl up to sleep for an hour on a couch that would not have been nearly so comfortable if we had not bellies full of Stoli and cheese. The Metro opens at 5. At 6, we stumble and grin through walk-of-shame back to Casa de Carlos. Riding the metro at 6am in last night's clubbing clothes is a surefire way to draw more than a little attention. We're used to it, and ignore the stares as we cuddle in the corner.

Mexico City - Day 3: Coyoacan

We awake in the afternoon, and get lunch at a lovely little cafe in the spiderweb neighborhood next door. These flautas cure my hangover instantly, and are some of the the finest things I have ever eaten in my life. Carlos, predictably, gets a hamburger. We discuss our dissatisfaction with foreign food- American food in Mexico just isn't the same, either. We navigate the Metro again, and here on my 3rd day I now understand all the signs and how the different levels work, and finally hear the beep the signals that the doors are closing. Up to this point, I was always amazed by how everyone seemed to just know when to step back or get eaten alive by the unforgiving things. "No," Carlos smiled at me: "Mexicans are not genetically engineered with a subway-door instinct." First rule of the Metro: you do not trifle with the doors. Doors are DOORS! And they pack a wallop, so you listen for the beep. Next, a bus takes us to the little bohemian market in the Coyoacan neighborhood. It reminds me a little of the river walk area of San Antonio, or Chico, with well-kept streets and quaint brick walls. I expect a flamenco dancer to flounce around the corner at any moment. The market here is lovely, all sorts of lovely trinkets and baubles are there. Unlike some other markets I have been to, most of the stalls have unique wares- from miniature glass hummingbirds to intricately painted plates to leather wallets and purses and bracelets. It's very different from the cacophony of the Tepito area. Carlos buys a fire staff. I squeal with delight at the feather headbands. There are a few more white people shopping here, but it's still mostly Mexicans. We leave grinning, and take turns spinning the staff outside. It's a couple of hours until the party we will be attending tonight, so we wander. There's a sweet little park here, with children playing in a fountain and perfectly manicured boxwood hedges that curve and swirl around the trees. This Mexico city is quite charming. We find an amusing street performer with a bullhorn. Carlos translates his jokes to me, and we decide to follow the crowd to see where he's leading us: the Pied Piper in stripes and suspenders. We take our seats in what looks like it was once a sports court of some kind. This was a good idea. Two street clowns entertain us for the better part of 3 hours. Carlos graciously translates the jokes for me when I don't get them, but still- a clown is a clown. Slapstick humor needs no translation. They chose Carlos for the audience participation part (little did they know) where he made a perfect addition to their show: not quite stealing it, but playing along better than their usual rubes. They nicknamed him something that translated roughly to "The Pole Dancer" after making rude gestures with his new fire staff and poking fun at his ruggedly handsome looks. We left giggling, with laughs and slaps on the back for Carlos for being a good sport, and got some street food for dinner. We got a cup of coffee in a cafe around the corner, and watched the news about the earthquake that had just happened. We were apparently oblivious, walking through the park. I can't imagine that the two of us would be so wrapped up in our little world that we would miss a 6.8 earthquake... At a table in the back of a bar around the corner we joined a birthday party for Carlos' cousin. His friends, all actors, were polite and chic, engaging me despite my jeans and hoodie and poor Spanish. We drank and laughed through the night.

Mexico City- Day 4

Mexico City Day 4: Tepito We spend the morning just hanging around the hotel. Carlos sings me a song he wrote for me about the places he went in Europe and how he thought of me. Movies are made of this. The magic here is the stuff that makes muses out of ordinary people. Poets and singers weave their craft from the likes of us. It's what makes the world go round. Finally we muster the energy and hit the metro again for the craziness of Tepito. Our goal is to make it to the actual market itself, for more than the taste we got on the first day. It is colorful, noisy, jarring, here. Filled with people shoulder-to-shoulder perusing trinkets and baubles, clothes and shoes, frying pans, toy helicopters. Fake rhinestone jewelry and 'real' Levi jeans. Here, a 30 gallon plastic drum is filled to the top with white saucy liquid. The sign says 'Pantene shampoo'. You can buy anything in Tepito. This is the Chiangmai Night Market on the streets of New York, but in Spanish. And through a megaphone. And polite. Hawkers and shopkeepers shout to get attention: ("Bolsas! Bolsas! Bolsas! Bolsas!") but generally aren't pushy. They will point out the qualities of whatever tchotchke you're looking at, but there's no "hello looking!" or "come see come see!" I loved every minute of it. For whatever reason, I felt like I needed to keep moving through the crowds. I kept my purse in front of me, and kept aware of my surroundings, but I never once felt uncomfortable or afraid for my own safety. I was, however, in "Real Mexico" and can count on my fingers the number of gringoes I saw in my 4 days. We cruised into one store where I of course gaped at the array of fabulous wigs and rhinestone necklaces for sale. Heaven for a performer like me. I walked out with a gift or two for other people, a purple wig and a handful of jewelry for 1/3 the price it would have been in the states. Awesome! As we were weaving our way back through the streets, Carlos commented "and we didn't even get *into* Tepito!". We had apparently only reached the market's doorstep in those 7 or 8 blocks. Oh well, something for next time, then. Carlos' colorful friend Eric has a new apartment, so we visit him in a strange old house in the Zona Rosa or, Mexico City's version of the San Francisco Castro. Eric endures no small amount of ribbing for this. He, Carlos and another friend Pitbull make fun of each other mercilessly- nothing is off limits, and no-one's feelings seem to ever get hurt. To get to Eric's room, we go through an old wood door that looks like it belongs in Alice in Wonderland-climb the classic old-house creaky wood stairs and go down the hallway past several pieces of furniture and a still-wrapped mattress. Eric extols the virtues of the hot landlady. The four of us squeeze through a door and descend a shallow, narrow spiral staircase that appears to go to China, shimmy past a washer covered in copper plumbing parts and into Eric's kitchen. It's surprisingly clean and tidy, and so is his small room. He grins and shows off his new fuzzy blanket and the surroundings like a bird hopping about his nest, puffing his chest in pride about how attractive it might be to the female of the species. His machismo might be annoying in someone else, but in warm-hearted Eric, it's just amusing. The guys joke more, miming sex with a penholder and opening beers. I envy the bohemian life for a minute. I reflect on my house full of things that own me, and yearn a little for these guys' portability. Imagine the things I could *do* if there weren't so many things I *have*. Oh, to be able to pack all of my worldly possessions into a suitcase and move somewhere else whenever I got bored... On our way out, Eric stops by one of the larger unrented rooms closer to the main stairs. It has a queen sized bed and a very large desk. The rooms all come furnished, and quaintly decorated. I jump behind the desk and proclaim myself the President of Everything. Carlos rolls his eyes at me a little, but takes my picture anyway. He and I generally take turns: one of us taking an opportunity to be dramatic and the other feigning annoyance. See: yesterday's street performance. We bid Eric and Pitbull adieu and head for the metro station. Once on the subway car, we cuddle up to each other; suddenly painfully aware of how short our time is together. He admits a jealous moment- that he has such a short time with me, and I'm headed back to my other life with my other boyfriend. I allow him this, I'd probably feel the same. "Love as thou wilt" never meant it wouldn't hurt sometimes, just that we would never give in to the other's jealousy and place any limits on the free expression of love for ourselves and others. Carlos asks me: "have we ever had a boring conversation?" I can't think of one- we're both so ridiculous and different, and we've never had enough time together to get bored. I wonder if we ever would, if we were in the same place for any length of time... A late dinner with The Carlos consists of wonderful Mexican quesadilla filled with cheese and spicy chicken. I might die of spicy, but the flavor is so wonderful I eat it anyway and chase it with grapefruit soda. I get the chance to tell father and son how much fun I have had, and thanks for everything. Carlos Sr. graciously offers his house any time I come to visit, saying "my home is your home". His hospitality and grace comes in spades. I have been terribly lucky to have such wonderful hosts here. We stay awake until the wee hours of the morning, talking and doing the things that lovers do, the night before they're to say goodbye. It gets intense, as we cross a line we haven't dared before. It is sweet, then, as we hold eachother tenderly after, wondering what tomorrow will bring. Will this be the last time we are ever together? We promised, but will the Fates find it in their plans to follow through? Will we really search high seas and rocky shores, sailing far and wide through great adventures, only to find that light of hope and home shining through the years to bring us back again to this: wrapped snugly within each others arms? Who knows. If the answer is no, then I'll surely look back and smile, and remember the short time that we shared, but a great love that will always live in my heart.